megay:

HOW TO PICK UP GIRLS IN 3 EASY STEPS

STEP 1: purposefully bump into girl(make sure you are typing into your calculator while doing this)

STEP 2: say “im sorry. i didnt see you, i was taking inventory of all my lizards”

STEP 3: make sure she sees the number 42069666 on the screen

scienceslut:

I think the reason everyone likes Orange is the New Black so much is because we get to see everyone’s backstory and realize that even if they seem like a bad person, they’re still human and they have struggles and passions just like everyone else.

Except Vee. Fuck you Vee.

samwinchestersmoose:

when i went out to go see Maleficent, when i saw this fairy

image

I was like “Haha that looks like Umbridge”

and then she changed into a human 

image

And I was like “HOLY SHIT THAT IS UMBRIDGE!!111!”

and a couple rows behind me, I heard someone say “You must not tell lies” and I lost it